If you’ve just joined us and want to know why I’m getting on a ferry, read my last post and then come back. Go on, we’ll wait. We won’t like it but we’ll do it. For you. Okay, done? Good. So I climbed aboard the ferry in Krabi to set out for Koh Phi Phi. I got on the ferry, was minding my own business, preparing for a quiet 2-hour boat ride to the tiny island when I noticed a small group of people who seemed to be having quite a bit more fun that the rest of the passengers aboard the ship. I decided to have a seat next to them at the front of the boat to see what was so fun up there. Turns out, they had already found some alcohol. And it appeared that this alcohol might have been a considerably large amount—based on the amount of fun they were having. Suzi, James, and Stuart were sister, brother, and brother from Canada. Fuckin’ Canadians, eh? Best Canadians ever. We started chatting and laughing; Suzi shared the most intimate details about her Thai Brazilian wax that almost went too far, Stuart broke the front cover off the air-conditioner, and James showed us pictures of a “girl” that someone (we won’t name names … but it wasn’t Suzi or James) made out with a few nights prior, getting my and a few other passengers’ opinion on whether we thought the person was actually a girl, or if she was actually a Thai “lady boy.”
The hysterical laughter coming from our group infected a few of the surrounding boat-members as Stuart recounted sleeping on a bum’s mat for a few nights on Koh Tao and Suzi told us about getting robbed and having to panhandle to buy a shirt. We made friends with 3 Australian guys and to be quite honest I don’t remember any of their names, and one creepy Asian dude who just really wanted to be a part of our group. About 15 minutes in, a round of beers was cheersed, and then 10 minutes after that another, and by the time I got off the boat I think I was 4 or 5 beers down with 6 new friends (the creepy Asian doesn’t count, but he did join in the beer drinking and even bought everyone a round). I, of course, hadn’t planned in advance where I was going to stay because I knew Koh Phi Phi was a small island and that I could just crash at one of the many hostels by the pier, so Suzi offered to let me stay with her in her room. So of course I accepted! And we really didn’t want to waste time between getting from the boat to a bar with such silly matters as finding lodging.
After our luggage was carelessly discarded in a hotel room, we headed to Reggae Bar to meet up with the Aussies and 3 Swedish dudes that the Canadians had met on Koh Tao. Pïerre, Marcus, and Erik were the coolest mother effing Swedes I’d ever met. We ordered buckets which were literally plastic buckets with your alcohol and mixer of choice and had a blasty blast. There was a boxing ring in the Reggae Bar and you got a free bucket if you volunteered to box someone, and the bucket was in your corner for you to sip on between rounds. It was one of the Aussies birthdays so he thought he should partake … so we watched him fight awkwardly until the judges finally declared him the winner, then finished our buckets and headed off to Slinky Bar—a club on the beach.
It started raining and we were kinda bummed … but then we were like, eh fuck it and got some plastic bags to put our phones in and then we partied our faces off. It was so much fun. The rain actually made it more fun, and there were just as many people there despite the rain. After about … I dunno, 6 hours of dancing, Suzi and I decided to head back toward the hotel. We had discarded unnecessary items when we started dancing, including our shoes, and after searching the beach in the dark for 5 minutes for the mate to my other sandal, Suzi declared it dead and gone forever, but told me it was fine because she lost hers too. Then she took off her shoes and threw them into the ocean and we wandered off barefoot toward our room.
Well, half way there we passed this really nice looking swimming pool. And we thought, what better time to take a dip in a hotel pool than at 6am? So we hopped into the pool (we had bathing suits on … but we also had the rest of our clothes on over them) and swam around for about 3 minutes until security was shouting Thai at us to get out of the pool. Well at least that’s what I think he was saying, I don’t speak Thai. So, instead of getting out of the pool, I swam underneath this little bridge that goes over a narrow part of the pool and hid there. The security guard walked around and all I could see were his feet. He knew where I was, he just couldn’t see me. I looked around for Suzi but couldn’t see her anywhere and started to panic a little because I thought she had left me. But then out of the corner of my eye I saw her lying under a reclined beach chair about 3 feet from the edge of the pool. When the security guard started to walk away from where she was hiding, she did a James Bond roll from underneath the chair … all the way across the cement and rolled into the pool with a massive splash. Laughing hysterically we hopped out of the pool, speed walked past the security guard pretending not to hear him yelling at us, and went straight out the front door through the lobby … soaking wet.
Ahhh the joys of a massive hangover. Doesn’t really matter when you order a beer with breakfast (it’s still breakfast if it’s the first meal of the day … even if it is at 2pm). That’s how the Canadians and Swedes rolled, so I had no choice but to adopt their ways. And this is essssentially what went on for 5 days. Drink. Party. Sleep. Repeat. The second day was almost identical … drinking on the beach all day, beach party all night. I almost got in a fight with a lady boy who was getting all up in my personal space and we may or may not have tried to “commandeer” a boat … until we realized that because of the low-tide there was about 100 meters of sand between the boat and the water. If that wasn’t the case we might have been spending the next couple days in a Thai jail rather than a Thai hospital …
The third day on Koh Phi Phi we met back up with the Swedes (we never saw the Aussies again … I don’t think they were quite on our level … and we didn’t need slackers dragging us down) and went on a party cruise around the smaller islands surrounding Phi Phi and saw the beach where The Beach was filmed … which is a film I have never seen. Apparently Leo DiCaprio is in it. We went to a beach called Monkey Beach, which was just a remote beach with a shit ton of monkeys on it. The whole day was so much fun. But the most important thing that day happened when James and Stuart saw this yellow rubber cow (goat, whatever, we’re not quite sure) in some lady’s store and they just HAD to buy it. And thus, Sofia was born. Sofia was an absolute hit on the party cruise. She is super buoyant so she makes a great raft for when you’re swimming in the ocean, and she makes a great seat when you don’t have anywhere else to sit, and a great pillow if you don’t have one. She is so versatile, there isn’t anything she can’t do. Anyway, so the rest of the time we were on Phi Phi, Sofia went everywhere with us. Pïerre and Sofia had a love affair … they were inseparable.
In Thailand, and especially on Koh Phi Phi, the locals walk around with quasi-domesticate wild animals, and they let you pet them and take pictures with them for a small commission. Every time we passed one of these people, Suzi couldn’t resist the opportunity to hold a monkey … or an iguana … or whatever other weird animal they had. I advised her against this, but she went on petting and holding and kissing these animals. And the jury is still out on this one, but I am pretty convinced that said iguana was a source of a bit of trouble for Suz. On the 3rd night, she started to feel sick, a rash began to spread up her neck, and she had an extremely high fever. So, the next morning when we woke up and the rash was slowly progressing onto her face, we made our way to the hospital.
Apparently she had a bacterial infection that was causing the rash and fever and her bacteria levels were so high that regular antibiotics were insufficient—she had to have them administered via IV drip. We were pretty impressed with the amount of medicine that she required. On top of the IV drip, she had to have about 4 other prescriptions, AND had to come back to the hospital for the following 2 days to get more antibiotics administered via IV. A for effort on her part! She was like a walking pharmacy.
After we left the hospital we had to go check out of the hotel and say goodbye to James and Stuart; they were heading off to Bangkok to get some suits before they headed back to their lives in Canada. So Suzi and I wandered around for a while until we found a place that wasn’t completely booked and we had to pay 1000 baht (which is about $15/each) for this shithole room. But at least it had a great view. Not really. It had a window facing another building, about 2 feet from it. But the bathroom came equipped with this:
After the hospital, lugging around our shit all morning trying to find a place to stay, and all the cockroach killing, we felt like we deserved to pamper ourselves a little. We each got a manicure, pedicure, and 1-hour Thai massage for under $30/each. Yeah, I could get used to that. We had a nice relaxing day and got a good night’s sleep … for the first time since arriving.
On the 5th day I decided that I should probably be on my way, especially since I was only planning on staying on Koh Phi Phi for 1 night. So I went to the hospital with Suzi so she could get her second dosage of antibiotics, then said goodbye to her and the Swedes and hopped on a ferry to Phuket. I was so sad to leave my new and awesome friends but I have a feeling that will not be the last of any of them! (Suzi, you know I’m coming to Canada!!!)
Aside from meeting some really awesome people there and having a great time, Koh Phi Phi as a destination is absolutely incredible. Probably one of my favorite places so far. It is a really small island and the only way to get there is via ferry to the one port on the island. The island is so small that there is no need for cars, and there aren’t any. The streets are all cobblestone and about 20 feet wide, max. The island is swarming with amazing (cheap!) food and great places to party. The beach, ohmuhgodthebeach, is absolutely stunning. White sand, clear turquoise water, bright blue sky, and longtail boats … every stretch of beach looked like it came straight off a post card.
There is also an abundance of things to do besides lie on a beach, drink all day, and party all night on the beach … but of course I didn’t do any of those things. And on top of it all … it is SO.FREAKING. CHEAP. Pure paradise. I really did not want to leave, but such is life, and I had to continue on to my next island destination …
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