Let’s Go Ride Explore on Wally the Wonderbus, Visit with Crocodile Dundee, and Swim with Sharks and Shit!
17 Feb 2012 1 Comment
in New Adventures, Crossing It Off, Round the World Tags: Sydney, Australia, Round the wold, crocodile, Cairns, Hartley's Crocodile Adventures, Great barrier reef, snorkeling, scuba, shark, sea turtle, rainforest, crater lake, waterfalls, Uncle Brian's Fun, Forest, Falls
If I could sum up my time in Cairns in one word it would be: UNFORGETTABLE! I am so glad I decided to go there. The city was way smaller than I expected, it totally has a beach-town vibe which I love, but there are still a ton of restaurants and bars—actually that’s pretty much what the downtown area is. I also really liked that they have “night markets”, I mean, whatever, maybe they do or don’t sell cool stuff but at least there is something open past 6 or 7:00 p.m. that you can go explore if you’re not in the mood to go to bed or haven’t the urge to go rage by yourself at a club where 18-year-olds are allowed to drink. An urge I didn’t get so often … hmm … drinking, alone, with 18-year-old male-childs abound, making convo with yourself … puzzling really. Oh and Coke is only $3 a bottle there!
But aside from the city, the activities are endless. Good thing I ran into a straight-shootin’-pistol-from-the-hip sort of dude at the travel agency I popped into to grab a map from. So this dude hooked me up! He told me what sucked, what I should do, what I could do … so this is what I decided on:
The first day I was in Cairns I had gotten up at 4:00 a.m. to catch my flight from Sydney, so I got to my hostel around about 9:30 a.m. Well, couldn’t check in until 2:00 p.m. but they would obv let me leave my huge-ass bag there, so really all I wanted to do was to go plop down on the beach, fall asleep in the sand, and get my happy ass a nice tan started. But as it were, on the way to the “beach” (there aren’t really any natural beaches in Cairns, it’s really a really nice man-made lagoon—you have to go about 20 min in either direction to get to them. But it is jelly fish season anyway so you can’t swim in the water. Well, I guess you can if your idea of adventure travel is via a medi-flight chopper to a hospital where your insurance will then proceed in forcing itself upon you—analy. Okay red squiggly line, please tell me the correct way to use anal as an adjective. If “analyst” is the best you got, we’re just gonna have to go with my version) I met this booking agent who got me started on my Queensland adventure straight away. Ha! You totally had to go back pre-parenthesis to remind yourself what the fuck I was talking about.
I signed up for a half-day tour of a crocodile farm (yes they farm them, like cows. Except I wouldn’t shit myself if I accidentally wandered onto a cow farm) slash animal discovery something or other. Hartley’s Crocodile Adventures at 12:15 p.m. Then I signed up for a full day of scuba and snorkeling on the GBR the following day, and to round it all out nicely, the day after that I signed up for a full day rainforest tour. So by the time I had minded my Ps & Qs (what does that even mean? I don’t have internet right now or I would google) with the booking agent bloke, I had about an hour before I went to see Crocodile Dundee. So I did walk my happy ass down to the lagoon. But then I went and saw some crocs!!!
It was pretty cool, they have the farming part of it which they actually only show you for about 10 min. It’s really a croc-ton (like what I did there?) of just different sized crocs in cinder-block tanks filled with water. I thought at first, aw that’s sad, they raise all these little crocies and then kill them, but the aboriginal people of Australia still use the meat for their traditional meals and obviously the skin is used in high-end fashion. They said that making farming legal reduces illegal poaching immensely and protects the natural population. Any time a crocodile is caught in the wild, it can’t be released (usually they are caught because they are in an area where people are or in water where people surf/swim/snorkel and crocodiles don’t like when people creep on their turf aka DEATH ROLL) because even if they are released far, far away from where they were captured, within a year they would make it back there. So when wild crocs are caught, different wildlife preserves, zoos, parks, whatever get them in turn. These are the crocs that Hartley’s uses as breeders and as part of their wildlife park.
ANYWAY! Then I rode on this boat out in their lagoon filled with 16 crocodiles that could eat me in one piece (but did you know, crocodiles can go an extremely long time without eating?! Longer than a year sometimes!! But they are “opportunistic” feeders—meaning if your stupid wallaby ass wants to hop its way onto their front door step and say here’s my ass crocie crocie don’t you want to take a bitey-bite? They will say, why yes, stupid wallaby, I would like that very much, thanks. Boom. Dead.) and the skipper(?) put some chicken heads on a string and attached to the end of a pole and allowed me to get some really awesome pictures like this:
Nom nom nom!
Crazy Aussie!
Holy shit! And then I saw some koalas, and some cassowaries, and some other fucking wildlife, oh! And the world’s most DEADLIEST snake. The Inland Taipan. And the dude held it like a foot from me. What a jerk. And he is all like, “People are so afraid of snakes, but more people have died from car accidents, pianos falling on them, etc. than from snake bites. So really driving in a car is more dangerous than this snake.” Now sir I’m going to have to stop you right there. This is ERRONEOUS! People who make statements like this clearly don’t understand statistics. Yes, you are more likely to die in a car crash than from the venomous bite from a taipan in Australia, but that does not make car crashes more dangerous than a taipan. Case in point: let’s play would you rather. Would you rather A) drive in a car, or B) pet the world’s most deadly snake … with your face? Also, let’s just throw in some death fun facts. The disparity in the rate of survival of a car crash compared to a taipan bite issss probably significant considering most venomous snakes usually possess one of three toxins: neurotoxins which paralyze your nerves, haemotoxins which cause the destruction of red blood cells, and myotoxins which causes your muscles to bind (aka your heart to stop beating). The taipan has all of them. So, buckle up, don’t drink and drive, and don’t get bit by a taipan! Because you’re fucked if you do.
Cassowary
Inland Taipan!
Yay learning! But moving on. Day 2! Are you for scuba?! I am! I am! So I’ll sum up what we all already know from experience, the Discovery Channel, or Google: the Great Barrier Reef is incredible. So much diversity, so much color, and so much coral! But to the good stuff. I was snorkeling right along in the turquoise water and I take a gander below me and what do I see? Why, that’s a shark Nikki! Okay, it was only a reef shark, but it was about 5 feet long. It was AWESOME. I stalked it from above for a bit, mainly to make sure it wasn’t interested in a limb sampler course, but it was so cool to see.
Then I went scuba diving. Scuba is not something I ever thought about being scary … like at all. I wasn’t nervous on the boat or suiting up or even getting into the water, but when you go under with your instructor for the first time and are breathing down there it is so bizarre. And thenyou freak out a little. I was about 5 feet under the water working on my skills (getting water out of your mask/clearing the water from your regulator) when I started thinking, “ohmygodohmygodohmuhdawwwwd I don’t want to do this, what if I’m down there and something goes wrong and I can’t breathe, what if … ah … ahhh … what if … AHHH! Let me out let me out! No, I don’t want to! I’m still close to the surface, I can get out now. Get out now! Get out!” All this was all going on in my head … but another kid in my group (there were 3 of us) couldn’t reign in his emotions and he actually did freak out. He went to the top and didn’t come down to dive at all. So right when that happened I got an extra boost of confidence that was like, “Well thanks to Captain Scaredypants I’m gonna have to suck it up because I can’t bail too … so unoriginal at this point really.” So I scuba-ed and it was so friggin cool. I got to see and pet a sea turtle! So incredible. But, I think maybe once is enough. We’ll see. My instructor told me I should get certified in diving because I was “like a fish”. Not sure if that meant I was good, or if he was just making a comparison because I too could breathe under water?
Yeah Scuba!
So pretty! I have underwater pics, I just haven't gotten them developed yet!
Onto day 3! Which, honestly, was probably my favorite day of maybe the entire trip thus far. I signed up for Uncle Brian’s Fun, Forest, and Falls and the shuttle bus picked me up outside my hostel (oh I stayed at Gilligan’s, it’s like a backpacker resort—only $18/night for an 8 person shared room) at 8:00 a.m. Cuz (cousin—get it because it’s Uncle Brian’s …) Rohen was our guide for the day. There were 21 of us and off we went! Cuz Rohen made us tell everyone our name, where we were from … and then gave us some fun forest facts on the way to our first stop. Then he introduced us to Wally the Wonderbus (our bus’s name) who could talk to him via honking. Wally likes to go through U-turn turnabouts so when we passed one, we went around it full-circle. 3 times. Cuz Rohen also taught us the wave and oscillate—which means, every time he honked at the locals, we wave real big and oscillate from side to side making sure no one is left out of the wave. The locals loved us.
First stop was Devils Pools where we saw some cool boulder falls, went for a swim in the non-deadly area, and had morning tea (orange juice and cookies) at some picnic tables. Then off to Josephine Falls where again we saw this amazing cascading waterfall and went for a swim. There is a naturally forming rockslide that we all went down a few times. It was really awesome and the weather was absolutely gorgeous. Then we stopped at Cuz Lunch’s for lunch. That wasn’t the actual name of the place but, whatevs.
Devils Pools
Josephine Falls
The rockslide on the left!
We made our third stop at Millaa Millaa Falls which translates to “water water” or “a lot of water”. It was a really pretty waterfall but the water was way colder than the other places, so I got in, swam out to the waterfall, swam underneath it, and then swam back. Between our 3rd stop and our 4th stop, Cuz Rohen made us play a game called “Where’s Wally”. And the way you play is you each have a matchstick in your mouth and you have to pass a lifesaver around the entire bus via the matchsticks. Great fun with complete strangers, but everyone was a really good sport.
Millaa Millaa Falls
The fourth stop was at Lake Barrine, which is a giant lake in the crater of an extinct volcano. I crater lake, if you will. It was hella-deep … up to 70 meters in some parts. Freaked me out a bit swimming in it. Then we had afternoon tea: hot chocolate, marshmallows, and homemade muffins! On the way back to Cairns we stopped and saw wild platypus in the river! Oh, and we had Wally Sing and Dance Along on the way back to town, and Cuz Rohen slammed on the brakes to show us a deadly rock frog (it was actually just a giant frog painted on a rock—hilarious!). It was so much fun, and when I left I felt like I knew everyone on my tour so well. And I made a new friend, Gemma, from Scotland! I would recommend that tour to anyone who is in Cairns, who wants to check out the rainforest, and meet really cool people. And obv have tons of fun!
Crater Lake!
Platypus!
Being in the sun and swimming under waterfalls for 12 hours sure makes a gal tired. So I went to my room, packed up my shit, and PTFO (passed the fuck out). On to Singapore the next day!!!
Let’s Go Get Some Goon and Maccas, America. Irish People Don’t Speak English. And Adventures with Spiders.
11 Feb 2012 2 Comments
in Things I Learn from Wikipedia, New Adventures, Crossing It Off, Round the World Tags: #rtw2012, Sydney, Australia, Sydney Harbour Bridge, The Rocks, Sydney Opera House, Hostel, Harry Potter: The Exhibition, Powerhouse Museum, Aquarium, Round the Wordl
Well hello there ladies and gents. So it’s day 11 of my travels, and I just finished my mini tour of Australia. And I have to say—I am impressed. I flew in to Sydney on Feb 4 at about 2pm and the weather was absolutely GORGEOUS! So I exchanged some cash, made my way to the AirportLink train, bought me a ticket, and waited for the train. It reminded me of BART. Anyway, got on my train and 10 minutes later got off and walked to my hostel.
This hostel (Wake Up! Sydney) I am happy to report was not sketchy as fuck like the one in Auckland. Lesson: read the reviews about the hostel, don’t just go on price unless you ABSOLUTELY have to. Because there is probably only a little difference in price and a huge amount of difference in the quality and services, and your odds of getting all your shit stolen is probably significantly lower. Anyway, this place looked like a hotel but with kid-ish décor. They had music blasting in the lobby with a TV lounge and a bunch of computers that you could use at a small fee, there was a café, laundry on site, you had a key card to access everything, there was a club in the basement, and the rooms were pretty nice. I stayed in an 8-person shared room for $34/night … which really wasn’t bad for the facilities, and Sydney was REALLY expensive. $4 AUD for a bottle of Coke, which is roughly $4.34 USD. Bout shit muh pants when I saw that. And bottled water (little bottles) was anywhere from $3-6 AUD.
Wake Up! Sydney Hostel
My roommates were really cool, there were 3 girls (Hannah, Eirian, and Sophie) that had been there for a few weeks working or trying to find work, and a guy (Lewis) that had been there for 5 weeks looking for a job. Apparently it is really easy to get a work visa in Australia and you make a lot more money doing the part-time type jobs than you would in the US or anywhere else really. They were all from England. Then there was a guy from Ireland that was only there the first night I was there and I tried to have a convo with him and whoever said they spoke English was lying. I could understand like 1 out of 20 words he said. He probably thought I was so stupid because I was just smiling and nodding … And then there were a few other people that filtered through for a night or two. I hung out with Hannah, Eirian, and Lewis a couple nights and we had so much fun. They called me “America” and laughed at me a lot for not knowing what they were talking about. They called McDonald’s “Maccas”. The first night I was there I was in my pajamas and my hair was wet and they asked if I wanted to go to Maccas with them and I thought they were going out or something so I was like, oh no thanks, then I realized when they came back that McDonald’s was Maccas. Lesson learned I suppose! One of the nights I went to the pub with a couple other girls that were there (not my roommates) from Melbourne just celebrating one of their birthdays. They were really cool too. People there were so friendly and welcoming. I loved it. Some of my favorite translations:
Goon: Cheap wine (box wine)
Maccas: McDonald’s
Rangas: Read-heads (Rangas? Ya know, like orangutangs …)
As: Add it after anything and it means ass? Apparently. Crazy as, stupid as … etc.
So the first day in Sydney I just wandered down to The Rocks which is the oldest part of Sydney and checked everything out, had a glass of wine and a pizza along the Circular Quay where all the ferries were, and then went back to my hostel and got some sleep. I was so tired because my flight from Auckland was supposed to leave at 9:55 that morning and so I woke up at 6a got to the airport at 7:45a, but my flight was delayed until 12:15p so it had been a long day.
Circular Quay
The next day I went into uber-tourist mode. There was so much to see and I wanted to see it all with enough time to get to Bondi Beach and soak up the amazing weather. I left the hostel and walked to Darling Harbour and Darling Quarter—which is the harbor (obviously) and this cute little area that has multiple levels of restaurants and bars facing the water along the boardwalk. Very picturesque. Then I wandered back down to The Rocks, had an iced coffee at La Rennaissance Café Patisserie, which is a café that Jeremiah went to every day while he was there and he told me I HAD to go there. I sat outside in the sun drinking my coffee and then wandered around the markets that they had on Sundays. Then I walked around to get a really good view of the Harbour Bridge and the Opera House … took a bunch of pictures with my head and the monuments in the distance. Sweet pics really. Then I wandered down around Circular Quay and then up to the Opera house. It was really cool, I wish I could have went to an actual Opera in it … but I guess I’ll save that for another time. I walked over to the Royal Botanical Gardens and wandered through them for a while, soo pretty. Until. Until…. I realized that there were massive spiders EVERYWHERE!!! A panic attack ensued as I frantically searched for the way out, freaking out every time my hair brushed my shoulder, thinking it was some incredibly huge, disgusting, and of course deadly spider coming to claim my life. I made it out alive—thank god!—so after that trauma I decided that I needed to do a little relaxing.
Darling Quarter
Darling Harbour
La Rennaissance Cafe Patisserie
The Rocks Sunday Markets
My head! And the Harbour Bridge
My head! And the Opera House
Royal Botanical Gardens
SPIDERS!
More SPIDERS!
I hailed a cab (I had been walking … like EVERYWHERE) and went to Bondi Beach. Oh my god, heaven! It was sooo perfect. Hot, lots of people, white sand, blue water. I sat my happy ass down on my cheap (ha!) $12 Asian crap store towel that I bought because I forgot to bring one, stripped down to my bikini and didn’t move until I thought I had suffered 1st degree burns on my calves. I friggin love the sun! Then I thought it would be a good idea to walk from Bondi Beach to Bondi Junction (where the train/bus station is) … it was a bad idea. And it was really far. And hot. But mainly I did it because I didn’t want to pay for another cab, and I didn’t have a bus ticket, which you could only buy at the bus station. Well when I got to the station, the machines for tickets were cash only and I was 20 cents short and so I had to get a cab back anyway. What a moron.
Bondi Beach
Sweet Scorching Heaven
The next day the weather wasn’t so amazing, still warm but overcast and kinda sprinkling on and off, so I thought it was a perrrrrfect day to check out some indoor stuff. So I went to the Sydney Aquarium—meh, it was an aquarium, not super nice, but whatevs, I found Nemo there! Then I went to the Sydney National Maritime Museum which was actually really interesting and super nice. They even had a real ship and a submarine in the harbor that you got to go onto and check out. Def glad I checked that beezy out. And then I went to … drumrolllllllll … Harry Potter: The Exhibition at the the Powerhouse Museum. Soooo fucking cool. They had all the props and costumes and shit from the movies and it was just incredible the amount of detail and craftsmanship goes into even the tiniest details. I’m not a huge fan of the movies, but a HUGE fan of Harry Potter, so to me it was more like I was seeing things that the book Harry, Ron, and Hermione would have worn and used. It was weirdly emotional. I just LOVE HP! Always will. Good day, lots of learning!
Harry Potter: The Exhibition
National Maritime Museum
Oh! So side note from the Maritime museum. So right when you walk in they have a display on the ceiling showing you 4 common star formations seen in the sky and the North Star which is obviously used for sea navigation, and on this tiny plaque it said: “Did you know the North Star is 1600 times more radiant than the Sun and 300 light years away?” NO I DID NOT!!!! And for those of you who don’t know, I am weirdly intrigued/freaked out by space and I have a hard time wrapping my mind around concepts commonly talked about in space … so I HAD to put this in perspective. So the next 10 min I sat there on my little pamphlet about the museum doing some math to figure out just exactly what 300 light years would be. Well my dear friends, prepare to be enlightened:
I won’t even get in to gigalight-years and the Great Wall. Wikipedia is a curious mind’s best friend, so if you wanna know some more cray cray shit about space, click away! Anywayyyy! Learning! Yeah. That night I went out with my roomies and went to beddy-bye at about 4am. Go me! Makin’ friends and shit.
The next day the weather was also a bit depressing and I was a TADDD hungover so I paid for some internet (you have to PAY for internet, gay) and planned my next leg of the trip. I decided to go to Cairns and check out the Great Barrier Reef and then from there fly to Singapore. So I booked all that then wandered around some of the cool shopping areas in Sydney and then went and grabbed some drinks with the roomies again since it was my last night there.
The next morning, I woke up at 4am, grabbed all my shit, checked out, hopped on the train back to the airport, and headed off to Cairns … and if you’re Aussie, or don’t want to sound like an idiot, it’s pronounced Cans. Rolled up into that beezy at 8am to some more incredible (and significantly hotter) weather. But I’ll leave that for the next post as I feel like I may have lost half of you back around the part where I started doing math (or the Harry Potter part, depending on your nerd tolerance)!!
Who Moved My Steering Wheel?! Jumping Off Tall Shit, Shiny Maggots, and Other Kiwi Adventures.
02 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Crossing It Off, Love This!, New Adventures, Round the World Tags: Auckland, beach, black water rafting, bungy jumping, goat island, New Zealand, Polynesian Spa, rotorua, round the world, sky tower, taupo bungy, travel, waitomo, Waitomo Caves
Alrighty then! A few days into the trip and I need to get a serious grip on this whole “budget” concept I hear people talkin about … But whatevs, I’ll get it down or … Run out of money? I need to find those trees that grow money, I think they’re near the fountain of youth.
There is so much to say, so I’m just gonna dive right in!
Jan 30, left SF at 7:00pm. Bitter sweet because I’ll miss everyone (esp my boo—143) but SOFA king excited! Landed in Auckland at 5:00am on Feb 1. Got my bags, went through customs, got my rental car, got in the car, realized there was no steering wheel, got in the right (literally and figuratively) side of the car, and off I went!
Driving on the left side of the road is trippy. I am so glad the first 2 hours I spent in the car were in the wee hours of the morning so there weren’t as many possible victims on the road. It’s not the actual driving, it’s the little things that successfully make you feel like a complete moron. For instance:
Blinker. Oops that’s the windshield wiper. Other side, oh, it’s opposite: flick up for left blinker, down for right.
Left hand turn. Staring into traffic. Realize you are turning with traffic instead of across it. Pull out like a moron who was holding up traffic for 3 minutes.
Rear view mirror. Oh that’s the door jam, the rest of the car is on the other side. Including the rear view.
Why is everyone going so slow (obviously I think this)?! Ohhh, the left hand lane is the SLOW lane.
Exits are on the left.
A roundabout going to the left …………….. WTFFFFF?!?!? …………………. Okay, just don’t die. Success.
You get it. Crossing the street as a pedestrian is also weird. Make sure you look both ways—8 times—to process what you’re seeing.
So I drove to Rotorua and went to the Polynesian Spa and checked out the town. The Polynesian Spa is one of the top 10 spas in the word and they have pools that they fill with water from the local hot springs that you soak in as you look out across the lake at the volcano. Absolutely amazing. I got a Manuka Honey Body Polish/Aix Combo massage … which means they basically scrub your entire body with this awesome smelling stuff, then give you a massage underneath a five-foot-long shower head. I want to go back already.
Then I drove down to Lake Taupo and went bungy jumping at Taupo Bungy!! (I am super excited that I can cross another thing off my Life List!) I could try to describe it … but here are a few pictures and you can watch the whole thing on video on the SanFranciscoSooner Facebook page:
It was so crazy. I signed up to go at 3:00pm and I was running late getting there and didn’t know how strict they were about schedule so I was stressing about being late all the way there, and since I had already pre-paid all I had to do when I got there was sign my life away and get weighed. Once that was over they told me to walk out to the platform, where I met a dude who put the harness on me and before I knew it I was shuffling up to the edge of the jump platform. I was seriously there for mayyyybe 10 minutes before I was jumping. So I didn’t really have any time to get super nervous before hand … that was probably a good thing. It was so awesome, and it’s seriously over like THAT! So much adrenaline after. I felt like boxing a grizzly bear in a rattlesnake pit after I was done. Challenge accepted!
After that, I wandered around Taupo for a little bit then drove on over to Waitomo and stayed at the Waitomo Caves Guest Lodge Bed & Breakfast. Super cute place, and the people were so nice. And the husband of the couple who ran it made homemade “biscuits” and they were SO good. Omg so good. I laid my tiny, tired baby head on the pillow at about 9:30pm and I was out like a light!
The next morning I woke up, ate breakfast with the other inhabitants of the B&B, and then ventured up the road to the Legendary Black Water Rafting Company to do some black water rafting. That was so much fun. They deck you out in wet suits, boots, and helmets, make you look like a royal douche, give you an inner-tube, show you how to jump off waterfalls, and then take you down into a cave filled with water and you climb/float along in the mostly dark. The roofs of the caves are covered with glow worms, so there is one part where all the members of the group form an “eel” (which means you put your feet under the armpits of someone and someone puts their feet under yours and form a line) and just float along with the helmet lights off, staring up at the glowing dots all over the top of the cave. Sooo pretty. The whole thing was so fun, minus the water being freezing balls, and the tour guides were legitimately funny. Always a plus. Love me some humor.
After the rafting adventure, I drove back up to Auckland and explored the city and found a hostel to stay at. Auckland is pretty cool, it’s compact and small and kinda reminds me of SF in that aspect. It’s kind of a quiet city … everything closes relatively early. It’s weird to be walking around a big city and half the stores are closed at 8pm. I walked up to the Sky Tower and checked out the siiiiiiick views of the city from up there, and had me a little glass of wine. Then I went down to the Viaduct District, which is where the harbor is and there are a lot of cool/nice restaurants and bars. I got myself some prawn and scallop fettuccine and some more wine, and then went around the corner to meet up with a friend of a friend who lives in Auckland for some drinks.
The next morning I awoke to my first international parking ticket! Woohoo! $65 … WTF! I wandered around the city some more and then headed north up the coast to get a little beach action. The weather was overcast and a little chilly but I wanted to see all that I could while I was there. I ended up at Goat Island which was so cool. The ocean’s expansiveness takes my breath away every time I look at it. That pretty much summed up my last day in New Zealand.
Next stop is Sydney, Australia! If you have any suggestions of things I can do while I’m there or things I absolutely have to do, PLEASE let me know in the comments!!
I Hope You Have a Big Trunk, Cuz I’m Puttin’ My Bike In It. Well, I Have a Bag, What Can You Fit In There? Answer: EVERYTHING.
30 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Crossing It Off, New Adventures, Round the World Tags: #rtw2012, adventure, Auckland, backpacking, New Zealand, Polynesian Spa, round the world, san francisco, sooner, taupo bungy, travel, travel advice, Waitomo Caves
So hey how ya doin’? I’ve just been the busiest little bee (I really wish there was some notation that I could put around sentences to key you in to the fact that as I’m typing this I am talking typing in an accent) this week … trying to get all my stuff ready to leave, packing, and planning my first set of adventures. Gotta say, planning is definitely the most fun, until you have to start making decisions—total buzzkill right thurr. Anywho, when I finally decided on a game plan for New Zealand (I will share in a minute, let me tell you this AWESOME story first, jeez), it was a momentous occasion to which I celebrated by sending a little texty-poo to my lil LoLo (Laura). This is how that conversation went:
Me: I have decided that I am going to go bungy jumping the first day I’m in NZ!!!!!!!!!!!
Laura: Did you see that video of the girl who did it and her cord snapped?!? I’m sure you’ll be fine …
Heart stops beating. THE HORROR! I’m sure she meant well ……………… just kidding. She didn’t. Aren’t you so glad I told you that story?! Okay … onto my adventures in planning.
After a short counsel with a good friend and super informative travel guide (thanks JRay!), I decided there is too much to see in New Zealand in the short time I will be there to have to work around bus schedules and all that type of shit. I like to go at my own pace, and my pace of choice is obvs fucking lightening speed—I didn’t get rejected from ZipCar for no reason (mostly because they’re assholes, but partially because I have more speeding tickets than, like, everyone I know … combined)! Thus, I rented a car … and will be driving on the left side of the road all over North Island. When I land at 5:00 a.m. on Feb 1, I’ll be picking up my rental car and beebopping down to Waitomo Glowworm Caves to do some Black Water Rafting at 9:00 a.m. After that, I’m gonna scoot on over to Taupo Lake and do some bungy jumping at Taupo Bungy!!! THEN I’m going to (insert stupid synonym for go) to Rotorua and visit the Polynesian Spa and check out that area and get some sleepy sleep. And that’s the first day 
. On the second day … ha! Who are we kidding, I haven’t planned that far in advance. Maybe some sailing? Swimming with dolphins? Lying on the beach? Who knows … but I’m sure it will be fucking glorious!!
I totes prom to keep you up to date though, fa sho!
Moving on … before I can hike my happy little ass all over the world, I have to pack. Which, I am happy to report, I fucking did. Look, look, looky at all this crap I put in my bag:
HOLLAAAAAAAAAA!!! Three things I would like to address … because I am sure some of you are maybe thinking possibly about them (works every time, 70% of the time.) Or the alternative and probably more acurate: none of you are thinking about these things, in which case, I really just want to point them out to you:
1. Jewelry? Jeeeeweelryyyy? Jewelry. Yes. I packed jewelry, no I didn’t pack valuable jewelry. How else do you expect me to make a white t-shirt work for 10 weeks? … JEWELRY, that’s how.
2. This is one of the times in my life I am so glad I have gravity resistant breasticles … 5 bras, 1 snack-size ziplock bag. Boom!
3. You can follow my progress on my travels with this SWEET ASS GPS tracking device I got (CLICK HERE TO SEE WHERE I AM)… My Spot Connect pairs with my iPhone via bluetooth (hey! There is a use for this technology) and allows me to send messages to people even if I have zero cell reception, sends satellite transmissions every 10 minutes so my parents can worry a little less knowing they can stalk me via satellite whenever they want, and—AND—it has a nifty little SOS button and if you push it, it’s like a Bond movie from what I hear … sirens, helicopters, they FIND you! So in response to “OMG have you seen Taken? Hostel? Sanctum?” Yes. No. No. But it’s fiiiiine because I have a Spot Connect with an SOS button! Wha whaaaa! And mace, I brought mace too.
I know I said I wanted to address three things, but I’m going to quickly justify one other thing that I packed … because I know some of you are still scoffing at the fact that I brought five pairs of shoes. They’re small. And flat. I did refrain from packing boots and heels, go me! Let’s give credit where credit is due.
Check it:
And then in the green bag are my truly essential items: passport, phone, computer, chargers, adapters, etc.
SO! Looks like I am alllll ready to go! My flight leaves at 7:00 p.m. tonight and I can’t friggen wait!! If you have any travel advice, words of wisdom, or anything else you would like to share, leave it in the comments!!
Like my page on Facebook to keep in the loop!
Hokay So, Around the World I Go–If Those Assholes Would Just Let Me Have a Visa … and Other Travel Prep Insights.
24 Jan 2012 1 Comment
in Crossing It Off, New Adventures, Round the World Tags: adventure, Auckland, backpacking, India, New Zealand, planning, round the world, travel, travel tips, visa
Hokay so! Here is the earth. And I am going to travel arouuundddd it.
I have been “planning” a trip since May. And that “planning” really only involved spending hours and hours and hours on Google and travel websites and Wikipedia reading about ALLLLL the places in the world that I wanted to go, and building an internal Life List longer than 1,000 Places to See Before You Die. Which I also bought, and poured over for hours on end. A real time suck that is—planning an imaginary-ish trip where you just say “ohhh I want to do that too” and never mind that it costs thousands of dollars …
Well I worked a shit ton this summer slash July-October, saved up a nice amount of moolah, and decided that I was gonna make this imaginary plan a reality. Like two weeks ago. I settled on a vague path and looked at ticket prices and bought a one-way ticket to Auckland, New Zealand. And since then the actual planning and preparation has taken place. A few things have happened:
1. I did a bunch of research on some travel credit cards—since I’m traveling around the world I figure I should probably rack up some airline miles. I went with a card that gives me 2 points for every dollar I spend regardless of what I spend it on, a card that gave me a decent amount of points just for signing up, and one that had a tolerable annual fee.
2. I bought a sweet ass backpack. I got a North Face Crestone 60 backpack so I can put a bunch of shit in it. I think that I should get a medal for packing a few months worth of clothes in ONE bag. Go ahead, be impressed. Well, not yet, because I haven’t done it yet. PREPARE to be impressed. Kthxbye.
3. Now, the third thing … probbbbably not something I should have done, but hey, when does that ever stop me? So here’s a don’t <- that’s a contraction for do not, incase anyone was unclear. NOT being the operative word. Carrying on: after I booked my flight to Auckland I realized that most of the countries that I wanted to go to between New Zealand and Europe require a visa … and I didn’t have any. What an idiot!
Haaanywayzz … my vague plan is to go from New Zealand to Australia (which you need a visa for, but it’s an almost instant application process that you submit online and then your visa is electronically linked to your passport—no stamp necessary) to Singapore to Malaysia (both of which you don’t need a visa for) to Thailand (no visa needed as long as you don’t stay more than 30 days) to Laos, Cambodia, and Vietnam (ALL of which you need a visa for, but thankfully you can get a visa upon arrival at Laos). Cambodia has an expedited service where you can get your visa processed the next day after they receive your passport, but the Vietnam visa will take 3-4 business days. So I filled out both visa applications on VisaHQ.com (a service you have to pay a little more for but they do all the leg work for you) and sent my supporting documents and passport to them and I am hoping that I get my passport back in time … you know … so I can actually go on my trip. I hear passports are strongly encouraged when traveling between countries. ‘Bout that time, ay chaps. Right o.
After SE Asia, I was planning on going to India, then to Jordan, to Egypt, to Turkey, and then from there explore eastern Europe and move west. Well, who would have known? You need a visa for India, Jordan, Egypt, and Turkey too. As luck would have it, I can get visas for all of those countries upon arrival (which I expect will be a joyous experience each and every time), all of those countries except India. I really had my heart set on going to India—it was one of the places I wanted to see most (and I really wanted to eat real Indian food!) so I was heartbroken to find out that it takes 9-15 business days to process an Indian visa. And I don’t have 9-15 business days, or a passport right now for the Indian Embassy to process my application. So I called to see if there was any way I could a visa any sooner … and my only option is to go to the Indian Consulate in Houston to have my visa processed in person. Wellllll, we’ll just see when I get my passport back and how badly I really want to go to India … and if it’s worth the 20-hour roundtrip drive down there. But I am le tired. Well have a nap … then fire ‘ze missiles!
Now … I just have to figure out how exactly to fit everything I need into one bag. It should be pretty interesting. If you have any suggestions as to things I should bring with me that might not seem obvious (or things that seem obvious, whatevs), feel free to impart your wisdom via comment. After I figure out what all I “need” to pack, attempt to pack it all, and then decide I can’t bring 75% of it (for those of you who don’t know, I overpack … a LOT) and pack what I actually need sans air quotes, I will figure out what I am going to do once I arrive in New Zealand!! Stay tuned! Shit, guys! Fire ‘ze missiles! Alaska can come too. THE END!
TTFNSF, Ta Ta For Now, San Fran!
27 Jun 2011 1 Comment
in Friends, New Adventures, San Francisco Tags: Friends, going home, life experiences, moving, new adventures, Oklahoma, san francisco
San Francisco, it’s been real. As I sit here on my flight from SFO to OKC, With my 6 50-pound bags checked below, and my 3-pound dog in her carrier at my feet, I cant help but feel a little apprehensive. I am leaving an amazing city behind, where I have made amazing friends who helped me forge some amazing memories. But I sigh in relief knowing that all I’m really leaving is the city, because my friends are very much a part of me, and the memories engrained in my soul–and I know the city will always be there, ready to welcome me back with its weird, accepting arms the second I decide I’ve been away too long. I smile at the thought of being able to spend quality time with my family and friends that I left behind in Oklahoma, I feel my stomach knot with anticipations about what the future holds, I squirm with excitement knowing that whatever it is, it will be an adventure.
One of my newest friends, Jeremiah, and I were having a conversation a few days ago about our favorite books, and books that change your perspective, books that give your life new meaning, but mostly books that I should read. He suggested that I read The Prophet, and so I did. In one day (not due to my superb reading skills, which are superb—it’s just pretty short). I started it and couldn’t put it down. Right from the beginning it spoke to me:
How shall I go in peace and without sorrow? Nay, not without a wound in the spirit shall I leave this city.
Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?
Too many fragments of the spirit have I scattered in these streets, and too many are the children of my longing that walk naked among these hills, and I cannot withdraw from them without a burden and an ache.
It is not a garment I cast off this day, but a skin that I tear with my own hands.
Nor is it a thought I leave behind me, but a heart made sweet with hunger and with thirst.
Yet I cannot tarry longer.
The sea that calls all things unto her calls me, and I must embark.
For to stay, though the hours burn in the night, is to freeze and crystallize and be bound in a mould.
Fain would I take with me all that is here. But how shall I?
A voice cannot carry the tongue and the lips that give it wings. Alone must it seek the ether.
And alone and without his nest shall the eagle fly across the sun.
As I fly toward my future, I am making plans for world travels, for law school, and for new adventures. But I fly with a renewed awareness that every day needs to be relished in its beauty, every moment needs to be seized, and memories need to be made; appreciate the time you have, the time you’re in, and the people you’re in the now with, for tomorrow it will be a new day, and today gone forever.
Roofdecks, Creeks and Ponds, Airplanes, New Crews, a Blogging Dog, Football, and Why I Love Weekends
20 Oct 2010 1 Comment
in Football, Love This!, New Adventures, San Francisco Tags: bbq, blue angels, cal bears, fleet week, fleet week 2010, football, fun, roofdeck, san francisco, stanford, ucla, usc
One of my favorite things about living in this city is the endless list of things to do, at any time, on any night. I grew up in the town that invented boredom … so I’m pretty psyched that the only time I get to be bored is when I choose to be.
Pond Creek, Oklahoma folks. The most exciting thing here is the sky.
But choosing to be bored is more like relaxing … so I am literally never bored. And not only are there a ton of things to do, there are a ton of AWESOME things to do.
Case in point: The weekend of October 9th and 10th.
Saturday was obviously occupied with college football, and since my beloved Sooners had a bye, I thought I would show some Pac-10 schools some love. And by some, I mean 4 (even though I officially hate UCLA because of this weekend—or at least their fans). The day started with a little saunter across the Bay to my old haunt, Berkeley, where we watched the Cal Bears destroy the UCLA Bruins … courtesy of the awesome Lien family (thanks guys!).
The weather was gorgeous and so I thought it would be stupid to pass up the offer to roll down south to Palo Alto and cheer on Lori’s Trojans who were playing Stanford. Even though Stanford ended up beating USC, it was still an awesome game and I had tons of fun. And I got to see the Stanford campus which is pretty incredible. OH. And I got to eat In-N-Out. And ride in a car that wasn’t a taxi, which is always a treat. So, all in all, a pretty solid Saturday.
On Sunday, I woke up, took a book and my trusty steed to Duboce Park, and lay in the sun reading for a couple hours. Then I got the call from Kathryn. Fleet week and roofdeck BBQing were ON! So I rounded up Lola, and headed to Nob Hill for some prime viewing of frickin’ awesome aeronautical stunts.
The City by the Bay, Californ-I-A.
The awesome view from Kristen's roofdeck.
Lola and I sat on Kristen’s fabulous roofdeck with our new “crew,” ate hot dogs and grapes, and watched the skies in amazement. Check it out:
Kristen, Me, Ben, Kathryn
The Roofdeck Crew
Blue Angels!
And, okay, I don’t know about you … but this seriously freaked me out:
Phew! So glad nothing bad happened!
Then I finished up the day with some hot wings, beer, and Sunday Night Football.
Stay tuned for the next chapter, my most recent awesome weekend, in this book that is Nikki’s Awesome Weekends.
In case you missed it … Lola has a blog that she updates every day with either a picture or video of her cute self … and a Twitter, @thedailylola, where she tweets about what she blogs about … which are pictures and/or vidoes. Follow her to get your daily dose of cuteness.
Outside Lands, Goodies but Crazies, and Wine in Mouthwash Cups. Or a Freakin’ Awesome Weekend.
20 Aug 2010 1 Comment
in Crossing It Off, New Adventures, San Francisco Tags: beer, concert, festival, food, golden gate park, Kings of Leon, music, Outside Lands, park, Pheonix, San Fran, san francisco, Wikipedia, wine
I’m sure that all of you San Franciscans know that this past weekend was Oustide Lands. And for those of you who don’t know, I’m getting really tired of directing you to Wikipedia … so here’s an excerpt for you … wouldn’t want you to hyper-extend your hyper-linking abilities (what? I don’t know … just go with it):
Outside Lands Main Stage
The Outside Lands Music and Arts Festival is a music festival held annually in San Francisco, California at Golden Gate Park. The first edition occurred August 22–24 in 2008, and included over 60 musical acts from around the world, as well as several art installations. The festival grounds included the Polo Field which was home to the Lands End Stage, the Speedway Meadow with Twin Peaks Stage and the Panhandle Stage, and finally the Lindley Meadow and the Sutro and Presido stages.
Kathryn and I
There aren’t a ton of huge music festivals in Oklahoma, which is why this was my first one ever, and. it. was. awesome. I didn’t know a ton of the bands that were there, but I have been listening to Bassnectar and Chromeo ever since I left.
I didn’t know exactly what to expect going into the weekend, but I did know that since it is San Francisco that I should count on some crazies. And I was not disappointed. And I might have even fallen into that category one or two times …
… Like on Saturday when Kathryn and I tried to sneak a camelbak full of vodka and Redbull into the gates by putting it in my pants, wait, that didn’t work, my side, nope, my back? Yeah. Strapped up under my bra, hunchback of fucking Notre Dame style. Then we realized that they were patting people down … and that they were watching us the whole time we were trying to shove something the size of an infant down my pants. Sooo we just had to chug as much as we could then pour our potion onto the ground.
… Then whilst watching Gogol Bordello, we almost got trampled to death by the one person stampede that was some bat-shit crazy girl dancing in front of us whose appearance oddly resembled that of a lion.
… And the guy who was blasted out of his mind, aggressively fisting the air during Bassnectar … I caught an elbow to the throat, it was pretty neat.
… Then when this exchange took place: Kathryn says to some dude, “Hey, good job!” He looks at her, perplexed. Pause. Awkwardness. A look of comprehension crosses Kathryn’s face and she says with a very apologetic look on her face, “Oh … sorrryyyyy, I thought you were in the band …” and then walks off.
… Or when Kathryn was like, “What is in my pockets?” And she pulled out her pockets and they were completely full of grass.
… Or when we ordered our 5th round of $7 wine (the glasses were literally the size of mouthwash cups you get from the god damn dentist) and I handed the guy a dollar and said, “Is this enough?” He, apparently, did not think it was funny, but we thought it was pretty hysterical. So hysterical in fact, that 2 minutes later when we were ready for another glass of wine (hey … they were really fucking tiny glasses), Kathryn said the exact same thing to a lady at a different booth. Her response was a little more lighthearted than the previous gentleman’s, but she was still not totally amused. We were.
… Oh and then there was the guy who thought it was a good idea to bring his 4-year-old kid to a god damn concert. Great parenting skills right there. I can only imagine what that little girl’s future holds.
Actually, I think it looks something like this:
Two words: Role model.
… And then it was only fitting to experience the most intense encounter with crazy at the very end of the festival. This is when we met crazy violent body odor girl with wax balls in her mouth … oh and she wasn’t wearing pants. She elbowed me out of the way so she could unfold her chair, proceed to stand in it, and flip everyone off for five minutes. I could continue to describe this scene … but I hear that a picture is worth a thousand words.
There are no words.
Balls in mouth? Check. Goggles? Check. Thong? Check.
Oh … and p.s., I was severely inebriated the entire weekend in which these stories took place … so might I suggest that if you didn’t think that these stories were at all funny to go get shit faced, and then come read my blog. I bet it would help.
Check out more pics on my Flickr page or my Facebook page!
Sweating Balls, Funny Farts, and Putting Body Parts in Unnatural Positions. Or Yoga. And Derogatory Adjectives.
12 Aug 2010 4 Comments
in Athletic Triumphs, New Adventures, Things I Learn from Wikipedia Tags: Birkam yoga, karma, Lululemon, new adventures, san francisco, the mission, Vespa, yoga, zen
I have a new addiction, and that addiction is Bikram Yoga.
If you don’t know what Bikram yoga is, let me enlighten you: Bikram yoga classes are 90 minutes long, during which, you perform 26 postures in a room that is heated to 105 degrees with a humidity of 40 percent. It’s also known at hot yoga, for obvious reasons. And you sweat your balls off. Not kidding. Sweat will be pouring from your body like it’s nobody’s business. And sometimes you kind of feel like you’re going to pass the fuck out, but that’s totally normal.
I had done Bikram a couple of times before I signed up for a month of unlimited classes, and thought it was pretty awesome, but didn’t end up going consistently. But that is not the case this time. I am hooked. I find myself planning my nights out around my yoga schedule … and (GASP!) even going to the 6:15 a.m. class before work sometimes. And if you know me, you will know how big of a deal that is. I love my sleep.
But ever since I have started going I have encountered things that are hilarious, not so zen, and downright alarming in the yoga classroom. Here are a few of my favorites:
The days when I show up to yoga and I am there because of my addiction, not necessarily because I want to be all zen and relaxed and all that bullshit. The class starts and I am calling the instructor every dirty word I can think of (in my head, obviously). How dare this biotch tell me to push harder, my god damn toe is coming out of the back of my head. I’ll push you harder. Those days are always fun.
The point in the class where I can feel a long hair clinging to my body somewhere and when I finally take the time to pull it from me, it is 3 feet long and pitch black. Clearly not mine. Ew.
The point in the class where I literally think that I am going to die from all the effort … and then the dude next to me rips ass. And I fall out of my pose, and laugh, and people give me dirty looks. Sorry for thinking farts are funny.
The point in the class where I’m standing with my legs spread and my head is in between my legs and I’m staring at the floor that is about a foot away, and the instructor says: “Roll forward, feel the stretch, touch your head to the floor. Touch your forehead to the flood. Touch. Your. Forehead. To. The. Floor.” I laugh. Never gonna happen.
The point in the class when I am standing with my face pressed into my shins and I am breathing really hard in and out my nose, and then I inhale the sweat that is now running up my face, and have to swallow it. That’s always a welcome and appetizing surprise. Not.
The morning that I drive my brand new Vespa to yoga and when I come outside after class, I realize that someone has backed into it, knocked it over, broken the light, and not left a note. I know, right? The DAY after I got it.
My new Vespa!
That same morning, I go home, park my broken Vespa, and as I am fumbling with my mail key, some douche-bag-ass-hole-mother-effing-cock-sucking-cum-gargling-prick steals my YOGA MAT out of my backpack. MY YOGA MAT! Who the fuck steals a yoga mat?! That is like the worst karmatic (yeah, I made it up, so what) thing you could possibly do.
What my pretty Lululemon yoga mat looked like ...
I hope that asshole breaks something while he’s trying to put his god damn forehead on MY yoga mat.
Namaste mother fucker.
P.S. SanFranciscoSooner.com now has a Facebook page! Go check it out!
The San Francisco Marathon, Knee Pain, and the Glorious Feeling of Finishing
04 Aug 2010 7 Comments
in Athletic Triumphs, New Adventures, San Francisco Tags: 26.2 miles, dying, Golden Gate Bridge, marathon, pictures, really hard shit, running, san francisco, San Francisco Marathon, that's what she said, The Presidio
That’s what she said.
July 25th. A day that will live in infamy.
I can officially say that I am a marathoner. Which is a pretty awesome feeling if I do say so myself. I honestly didn’t think that I could/would do it … and around mile 14 when I realized that I was actually jealous of people running 13.1 miles, I knew that I would probably never do it again. But … never say never, right?
So here’s what went down:
July 24th: Laura (my friend from North Dakota who flew in to run it with me) and I go to the Runner’s Expo to pick up our bibs, shoe tags, and a bag full of goodies (of these goodies, my favorite was the razor burn cream … seems like a good thing to put in a marathoner’s goodie bag … right? no?) and of course to buy ourselves some t-shirts and shit.
And then we went to bed at 9:00 p.m.
July 25th: RACE DAY.
We get ready (I have massive nerves) and the taxi arrives to take us to our death at 4:55 a.m.
We stand in line for the Port-a-potties for about 35 minutes (yes, I went before … but we were an hour early … ) and then we hand off our bags to the bag check guy and walk toward the starting line.
(The actual race started at 5:30 a.m. but you sign up for start times based on your projected finish time, so Laura and I didn’t actually start until 6:02 a.m., in Wave 5.)
At 6:02 a.m. we cross the start line … it’s ON.
Laura and I are truckin’ along and around mile 3 we are running really well … a little under a 9 minute mile.
Mile 4: We see my parents taking pictures of us, we are all smiles and still really excited.
Mile 5: We start the ascent up to the Golden Gate Bridge, and I start thinking … holy fuck, I still have 21.2 miles to go.
Mile 7.6: Somewhere in the middle of the Golden Gate Bridge. You think this would be pretty and scenic and relaxing. No such thing. It’s 7:00 a.m. in San Francisco, in the “summer”, which means that it is misting, freezing balls, and foggy as fuck. Oh! And the ENTIRE first half of the bridge is an uphill climb. So really all you can see are the people kicking your ass on the way back across the bridge. But their faces don’t instill any confidence in me. Most of them read: why THE fuck did I sign up for this shit?! And then there are the crazy bastards that are trotting along, happy as pie. Assholes. Oh, my 7.6 mile split was 1:16:08 … good, 10 minute mile.
My parents took this, we weren't actually running into oncoming traffic.
Mile 10: Coming off the Golden Gate Bridge, continuing into the glorious hills that are the Presidio. Fuck the Presidio. The uphill climbs were killer on the thighs and calves, but the down hill is what was killing my knee and shins.
Mile 11: Started getting serious pain in the left knee, but still making really good time, even though I had to stop at an aid station to have them tape my knee.
Mile 13.1: 2:22:19 Half-Marathon time. Shoulda just stopped there. Knee is getting worse.
Mile 14: My knee gives a final stab, I stumble, Laura catches me, and I know that from here on out it’s gonna be a battle: me or the marathon, which one will finish the other? Only time will tell. Cue dramatic music. I tell Laura to save herself, to go on without me.
Mile 16: At this point, I am able to run for about three quarters of a mile until my knee gives way again, I stagger, limp to the side, and get my speedwalk on. I walk for about a tenth of a mile, then start sunning again. It’s a vicious cycle.
Mile 20: I am now in constant pain, and I run until I can’t take the pain anymore, start crying a little (don’t judge me, did you run the SF Marathon? Didn’t think so.), and then walk for a few minutes. It’s a very vicious cycle. Oh, p.s. at this point, I think: wow, I’ve made it 20 miles … that is farther than I have ever ran. OH MY SWEET JESUS I STILL HAVE 6.2 TO GO. Annie Tucker Morgan (oh, you don’t know who that is? Sucks to be you.) pops in my head and this is my only thought for the next 3 miles: Fuck this noise. FTN. FT Effin’ N.
Mile 23: Literally the worst pain I have ever been in … and my right knee and hip are starting to hurt from being favored for 11 miles. No big deal.
Mile 25: My right knee gives out. Yay! It’s a party now. My left knee was a sharp stabbing pain that I suspected was from the impact of running and would only be temporary. The right knee, on the other hand, was not. This shit feels serious. I am in extreme amounts of pain, but I am also EXTREMELY frustrated because my body is not tired. If I could get a new set of knees right now I’d sprint the rest of this beast.
The last 1.2 miles were the longest 1.2 miles of my life. Fa REAL, yo. But I had to finish. This son-of-a-bitch-cock-sucking-ass-mongrel of a course was not going to beat me. I was going to beat it.
And I did.
Hey, it might have taken me 5 hours 18 minutes and 19 seconds, but I finished it. And that is ALL that matters. And that I beat 1002 people. Yeah, so what if 4997 people beat me.
Me: 1, San Francisco Marathon: 0. Eat it.
Literally, eat it.
They said whaaa?!