Hope You Brought Some Dawn, Cuz Shit’s About to Get Sappy! … You Know, Cuz Sap Is Sticky … And Soap … Nevermind …
25 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Friends, Love This!, Random, San Francisco Tags: best friends, Challenges, family, Friends, life lessons, things that matter
Holy sheesh it’s been a long time since I last posted anything. I felt like, if I was going to break the silence, I would have to write something really, really good. But … then I got over that, and here we are … 
Well, it’s been an interesting time indeed. A year and a half has passed since I graduated college and left everything I have ever known behind. There are days where I feel like the me today and the me I had been for 21 years have nothing left in common other than a name, and then there are times when I feel like I am more “me” than ever. In reality, I think that it is a mixture of both of those things. I have grown an incredible amount, learned valuable lessons, and have taken some huge steps down the path that, I think, will lead me to where I eventually wish to be.
The only constant my time spent in San Francisco has afforded me is change. I have lived in three different apartments in two different cities, lived with six different people, and had two different jobs. I learned the ins and outs of a public transportation system, and then got a Vespa. Then I learned that there are a lot of one-way streets in the city, and just when I was getting the hang of it, I got hit by a car. Every time I would get into a rhythm, life would throw a curve ball my way. I think I even got hit with a couple pitches. Life can be a real bitch like that sometimes. But all that has taught me to welcome challenges, embrace change, and loathe monotony.
Because if you don’t welcome challenges, they’re just gonna do a B&E (breaking and entering … duh!) on your ass, steal all your shit, and then make you file a police report and deal with insurance bullshit for 7 months … then you’ll be saying, “Why didn’t I just invite Challenges over for a fucking dinner party, we could have eaten lasagna and played charades … then none of this would be happening.” And if you don’t embrace change, it will just wrestle you into a sleeper hold until you pass out, but then when you come to, Change is still sitting on your chest, asking if you’re ready to hug it out or if you would like to have another encounter with unconsciousness … like an annoying little brother (note: I said an, not my, love you Tommy) who all the sudden realizes he is big enough to beat the crap out of you. Your brother isn’t going to get smaller and you’re going to end up embracing change one way or another, you can chose for it to be a loving embrace or a choke hold of doom …but it’s got to happen. And if you don’t loathe monotony, like, I mean, be a total raging bitch to it, it will move in without your permission, post up on your couch, never let you watch what you want to watch on TV, not pay its share of rent, take really long showers right before you until there is no hot water left, eat all your food, and wake you up 9 minutes before you were planning on getting up … EVERY morning. You have to be persistent in the pursuit of the not so mundane, or your life will be … mundane. Unless, obviously, those those things sound appealing to you, and if that is the case … then do the exact opposite of what I just said. To each their own.
While learning to handle new and exciting challenges is, well, new and exciting, it is also important to figure out what truly matters to you. What is the one aspect of your life that, if it were removed, would rock you to your core? What’s a great job if you have nobody to celebrate your achievements with, what are monumental life moments if no one is there to reflect upon them with you, what is success if experienced alone, what is anything worth anything if no one is there to laugh with you, to cry with you, to be angry with you, to be angry at you, to be happy for you, to be sad for you, to care for you, to love you?
To my family, and to my friends, you truly mean the world to me. To my parents, who have taught me to be compassionate, accepting, proud, and independent.
To my brothers, who have shown me that life is not fair, that things worth having don’t come easy, that losing isn’t fun, and that driving the speed limit is way boring.
To my best friend in the world, Sarah, for always, always being on my side, for teaching me to be able to laugh at myself, for encouraging me to always speak my mind, and for never saying “I told you so.”
To Michelle, who has bolstered my feistiness, introduced me to SDHs, and shown me how to dance like no one is watching, especially when you know people are watching.
To Taylor, for showing me how it is to be a completely open and warm person, and that there is always room for comic relief.
To Laura, for always listening, always knowing when to tell me what I need to hear, and liking Harry Potter as much as I do.
To Kenneth, who showed me that I’ll never be too mature to have a great time and that a lot can be said with few words (maybe I haven’t fully grasped that concept yet).
To Kathryn, who taught me to roll with the punches and always keep an eye out for adventure.
To Casi, who taught me that no matter how crappy things can be sometimes, its always better when you have friends.
To all my friends that I have met along the way, thank you for taking the time to make me a part of your life.
Thank you all for supporting me, for picking me up when I fall flat on my face, for not making me feel bad for falling on my face, for celebrating me, for cheering me on, for giving me pep talks when things get tough, for loving me, for all that you do, for making me who I am, but most of all, for being you.
A very wise, very best friend once said, “Sometimes, I wish I wasn’t me. So that I could be friends with me.” Well, in case you’re all wondering what it would be like to be friends with you, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
This Is What Happens When You Make a Life-To-Do List on Your 3rd Cup of Coffee: Motivation, Yeah!
27 Sep 2010 1 Comment
in Crossing It Off, Random Tags: cute dog, learning a new language, library, life, life list, reading, san francisco, san francisco sooner, working out
Ack!!! Do you ever have those days (or months) where you really think about all the things that you need to get better at in your life? Then you just start thinking about all the things that other people do and you don’t, and then you just start feeling terrible about yourself. And then you start thinking about how awesome you would feel about yourself if you did all the things that you aspired to do. And then you think about what it would take to get your life up onto that level of awesomeness. And then you get exhausted because even thinking about doing that much work is exhausting. And then you think about how easy it would be to rest on your laurels and just fight through the days where you can’t stop thinking about all the things that you should be doing. And thinking about doing nothing is a lot easier than thinking about doing something. And doing something requires a plan. And then that plan has to be executed, which takes work. And thinking about all the thinking and planning and executing is making you want to stop thinking and just enjoy resting on your laurels. And then you decide that nothing is the easiest thing to do and therefore you do it.
Well, NOT TA-DAY!
You’ve been telling yourself you’re going to wake up earlier. Do it.
You’ve been telling yourself you’re going to work out more. Do it.
You’ve been telling yourself you’re going to read more. Do it.
You’ve been telling yourself you’re going to stick to your goddamn budget. Effing do it.
You’ve been telling yourself you are going to learn a new skill. Do it.
You’ve been telling yourself you are going to volunteer. Do it.
You’ve been telling yourself you are going to stop drinking caffeinated beverages. That’s retarded, don’t do that. See what you do when I have lots of caffeine? You make awesome lists. That are daunting and intimidating. But because you have coffee you can do it. Because you have coffee. You can.
You’ve been telling yourself you’re going to bring your lunch to work. Do it.
You’ve been telling yourself you’re going to blog weekly. Do it.
You’ve been telling yourself you are going to start saving money. Do it.
You’ve been telling yourself you are going to learn a language. Do it.
Well folks, these are some of the things that I am going to try really hard to work on. And even though I may or may not succeed … trying is better than doing nothing.
I joined a gym yesterday and I am going to start working out more. Yay! I am going to try to go to the gym before work so that will mean trying to get up earlier. I have the next book on my book list so I am going to start reading that. I got my Head First HTML with CSS & XHTML book in the mail today … going to start teaching myself some code. I am signed up for a Volunteer Information Session on October 6 at the San Francisco SPCA so that I can start volunteering. I’m probably not going to give up coffee … but maybe soda? Brought my lunch to work today. I’m writing a blog post right now, you’re welcome.
Looks like I’m on the right path to getting better at life … the whole budget and savings things are a work in progress but I am trying really hard to figure it out. Learning another language will start when I get my ass to the SF Public Library and get a library card.
Oh, I forgot one. Write a blog post and start 9 of the sentences with “And then.” Did it. Biiiiitch!
What are you trying to work on? If you have any tips or tricks on how to make any of these things easier, I would love to hear them. Also … what language should I start learning?! Lemme know, ho! If you would like to read some literature beforehand to make an educated vote … you can start here!
Oh!
One last thing. Look how cute my dog is.
Hi everyone, I'm the cutest freakin' dog ever!
Quadruple Rainbow!
Ode to Tarahumara’s: My Favorite Mexican Food in the WWW
13 Aug 2010 7 Comments
in Food! Yum, Oklahoma Memories, Random Tags: best Mexican food in the world, food, margarita, mexican food, Norman, Oklahoma, sooner, Tarahumara's
Whole. Wide. World. In case you were wondering.
I was just talking with my friend Taylor about how much I miss and adore Oklahoma Mexican food, and Tarahumara’s Mexican Café in particular. Adore is probably the understatement of the century.
Any time I left Norman for a long period of time, Tarahumara’s was my first stop when I got back. Case in point: Went to China, went straight from the airport to Tarahumara’s; Went to Italy, Taylor picked me up from the airport and we met everyone at Tarahumara’s; Was gone for the summer, Tarahumara’s; Haven’t been there in three days, Tarahumara’s.
It was a glorious thing. A god damn gift from above.
But now I live in California, and Californians think that queso is just … cheese. PA-LEASE! You gotta get yourself to Oklahoma for some OkieMex. That shit’s where it’s at, fa real, yo.
Anyway, this reminiscent conversation with Taylor evoked some strong emotions, and I couldn’t hold them in as hard as I tried.
So here it is:
Ode to Tarahumara’s
Oh Tarahumara’s Mexican Café, how I love you so.
I have been missing you so much, and I think it’s starting to show.
My pants fit a little looser now, and my fat intake is down,
All because my favorite Mexican food is in another town.
Why do you have to be so far away from me?
All I want are some of your chicken enchiladas—smothered in cream cheese.
Mexican food here in California just isn’t the same,
What’s that I hear? It’s your chips and queso calling my name.
Mexican food here is a tiny tortilla sprinkled with cilantro,
Give me my rice and beans and a side of sour cream sauce, pronto!
Don’t forget my margarita, you know how to make it just right.
Have another you ask? Why, I think I just might.
Served up in a nice big chilled glass.
Two or three of those will knock me on my ass.
We part ways with a lime-sherbert mint,
A fully belly, and a smile of fulfillment.
I know one day that we will meet again,
Maybe when I come back to town for a football game, that I’m sure the Sooners will win.
Keep your chin up Tarahumara’s, keep your chips crispy, and your sour cream sauce creamy,
For even though I have moved away, I have not moved on, and I still think you’re dreamy.
You Might Not Know It, but AT&T Knows It
22 Jun 2010 6 Comments
in Random Tags: att, customer service, help, internet, san francisco, sooner, the man
Let me give you a little background info. Jordan, Chase, and Greg were roommates. Greg just moved out to go to law school and Zack (my boyfriend) moved in. I am crashing with them until I move into my brand shiny new apartment, which will be soon (fingers … and probably toes if you’re talented … crossed). Anyway, we have been having quite a few of problems with AT&T. When Zack moved in and Greg moved out, which was twenty-two days ago, they did a switch-a-roo with the internet. Greg canceled his account and Zack created a new account and thus, we had internet and the swap was deemed successful. But really what AT&T was doing was luring us into a false sense of security only to pull the rug (or internet, rather) right out from under us. This was a week ago.
From that fateful day, we have embarked upon what one can only now reasonably consider a never-ending journey. All because AT&T is the holder of the answer to one of Greg’s deepest, darkest secrets … that even he doesn’t know the answer to. Crazy right? I’ll explain.
So my three very smart, very resourceful temporary roommates have spent approximately ten hours on the phone with AT&T, bouncing back and forth between departments and people who can’t help us at all. So I’m not exactly sure what their jobs are … unless of course they are employed by AT&T and placed in make-believe departments with fake titles to make you more and more confused as to who you are supposed to talk to in order to get your issues resolved while all the while the real employees of make-believe departments with fake titles are playing this evil interior game where the winners and high scorers are those that can have clients transferred the most while simultaneously not solving their problems (remember because they are employed just to confuse you … they actually don’t know how to solve your problems either) and get bonuses for the amounts of your time that they waste whilst transferring you and not answering your questions (Stop putting green squiggly lines under this sentence, Microsoft Word. I. know it’s a “Long Sentence”, I am the one writing it! Jesus.).
That didn’t really explain anything. But Zack was told repeatedly by the Emperor’s Overseer of Wrong Turns (fake titles … I knew it) that the account was active in Greg’s name and he couldn’t switch the account to his name because he is not Greg, and oh p.s., the router must not be working if you’re not getting internet, because the account is most definitely active, but you’re not Greg so that’s all I can tell you, except maybe to fix your router. All of this was told to Zack while he was staring at the router that was, in fact, working.
Chase was told by Tiger Woods’ Mistress in the Infidelity Department (one of them works for AT&T … don’t quote me on that though …) that she couldn’t tell him whether or not the account was active because he was also not Greg (something that someone else was at the liberty to tell Zack, someone who is also not Greg … strange) but she could confirm that the router was in fact working, which we knew all along, and that he should either call someone else or have Greg call her because there is nothing that she can tell Chase about the account because he is not Greg, something we also knew, and at this point we are clinging to every piece of information we know to be true.
So why don’t we just have Greg call? Well because he is in Central America, of course. And the only means of communication he has with this country is through Blackberry Messenger.
So Jordan bbms Greg and explains the situation, and Greg responds with: What. The. Fuck. I spent two hours on the phone with them canceling my account and transferring it to Zack’s name. Here take my SSN and call and say you are me.
So with Greg’s life in his hands, Chase phones some random branch … Olive … something or other. What is your name? Greg. What is your address? Hell, apparently. What is your SSN? Nine numbers.
Great, it looks like this is the path we need to be on (the rest of us are literally on the edge of our seats, hoping that this will finally be what cracks the massive AT&T conspiracy … that just maybe we reached a real branch with real employees with real answers to real questions … and we can finally get our sweet, sweet internet back).
One last security question Mr. Greg. Yes? Who is your childhood hero? Blank stares.
Jordan quickly bbms Greg who we can tell is fuming all the way down in Central America: Who is your childhood hero. Greg responds with: I don’t have a fucking childhood hero, what the fuck. I was never asked that question, nor did I give an answer to that question. This is fucking ridiculous. I already canceled my account, I don’t know who the fuck I talked to or why I am still signed up for a fucking account.
Chase (on the phone) responds with: Jordan. Well you got the first letter right, Mr. Greg, but that isn’t the correct answer.
Jordan bbms Greg again: it starts with a “J”.
Greg responds: Jake Peavy?
Is the answer Jake Peavy? No. I’m sorry Mr. Greg, if you can’t answer the question, I can’t give you any account information just in case you aren’t really Greg. Right, I have a pretty firm grasp on that concept … but don’t you think that this is a flawed system … I gave you my SSN, which only the real Greg would know, correct? … but yet you can’t tell me about my account because I don’t have a childhood hero and you think that I do and I don’t know the answer to it but you think you do? Correct. Well, now I am just curious, what is my childhood hero that starts with a “J”? Sir, I can’t tell you the answer to the secret question, then you would know the answer. I AM GREG (but he’s really Chase), I SHOULD KNOW THE ANSWER. I’m sorry Sir, you are going to have to call someone else, there is nothing that I can help you with if you don’t know the answer to your secret question.
Jordan bbms Greg: Jake Peavy isn’t your childhood hero. Just in case you were wondering.
Greg: I don’t have a childhood hero, and that would never be the secret question I would pick. This is fucking ridiculous.
We still don’t know the answer. And we still don’t have internet.
But what we do know is that the NSA gets its information from AT&T, who apparently steals it right out of your thoughts. That’s right. They are the Thought Police (is it 1984, George Orwell?), anything you think will be held against you in a case where you might need to know the answer to get internet but you don’t know the answer because you’re not sure you ever thought it and you’re not sure that if you did think it that you told anyone the answer but you’re 99 percent almost kind of sure you never had a childhood hero. Or did you? Who knows?
AT&T. That’s who.
They said whaaa?!