I Hope You Have a Big Trunk, Cuz I’m Puttin’ My Bike In It. Well, I Have a Bag, What Can You Fit In There? Answer: EVERYTHING.

So hey how ya doin’? I’ve just been the busiest little bee (I really wish there was some notation that I could put around sentences to key you in to the fact that as I’m typing this I am talking typing in an accent) this week … trying to get all my stuff ready to leave, packing, and planning my first set of adventures. Gotta say, planning is definitely the most fun, until you have to start making decisions—total buzzkill right thurr. Anywho, when I finally decided on a game plan for New Zealand (I will share in a minute, let me tell you this AWESOME story first, jeez), it was a momentous occasion to which I celebrated by sending a little texty-poo to my lil LoLo (Laura). This is how that conversation went:

Me: I have decided that I am going to go bungy jumping the first day I’m in NZ!!!!!!!!!!!

Laura: Did you see that video of the girl who did it and her cord snapped?!? I’m sure you’ll be fine …

Heart stops beating. THE HORROR! I’m sure she meant well ……………… just kidding. She didn’t. Aren’t you so glad I told you that story?! Okay … onto my adventures in planning.

After a short counsel with a good friend and super informative travel guide (thanks JRay!), I decided there is too much to see in New Zealand in the short time I will be there to have to work around bus schedules and all that type of shit. I like to go at my own pace, and my pace of choice is obvs fucking lightening speed—I didn’t get rejected from ZipCar for no reason (mostly because they’re assholes, but partially because I have more speeding tickets than, like, everyone I know … combined)! Thus, I rented a car … and will be driving on the left side of the road all over North Island. When I land at 5:00 a.m. on Feb 1, I’ll be picking up my rental car and beebopping down to Waitomo Glowworm Caves to do some Black Water Rafting at 9:00 a.m. After that, I’m gonna scoot on over to Taupo Lake and do some bungy jumping at Taupo Bungy!!! THEN I’m going to (insert stupid synonym for go) to Rotorua and visit the Polynesian Spa and check out that area and get some sleepy sleep. And that’s the first day :). On the second day … ha! Who are we kidding, I haven’t planned that far in advance. Maybe some sailing? Swimming with dolphins? Lying on the beach? Who knows … but I’m sure it will be fucking glorious!!

I totes prom to keep you up to date though, fa sho!

Moving on … before I can hike my happy little ass all over the world, I have to pack. Which, I am happy to report, I fucking did. Look, look, looky at all this crap I put in my bag:

HOLLAAAAAAAAAA!!! Three things I would like to address … because I am sure some of you are maybe thinking possibly about them (works every time, 70% of the time.) Or the alternative and probably more acurate: none of you are thinking about these things, in which case, I really just want to point them out to you:

1. Jewelry? Jeeeeweelryyyy? Jewelry. Yes. I packed jewelry, no I didn’t pack valuable jewelry. How else do you expect me to make a white t-shirt work for 10 weeks? … JEWELRY, that’s how.

2. This is one of the times in my life I am so glad I have gravity resistant breasticles … 5 bras, 1 snack-size ziplock bag. Boom!

3. You can follow my progress on my travels with this SWEET ASS GPS tracking device I got (CLICK HERE TO SEE WHERE I AM)… My Spot Connect pairs with my iPhone via bluetooth (hey! There is a use for this technology) and allows me to send messages to people even if I have zero cell reception, sends satellite transmissions every 10 minutes so my parents can worry a little less knowing they can stalk me via satellite whenever they want, and—AND—it has a nifty little SOS button and if you push it, it’s like a Bond movie from what I hear … sirens, helicopters, they FIND you! So in response to “OMG have you seen Taken? Hostel? Sanctum?” Yes. No. No. But it’s fiiiiine because I have a Spot Connect with an SOS button! Wha whaaaa! And mace, I brought mace too.

I know I said I wanted to address three things, but I’m going to quickly justify one other thing that I packed … because I know some of you are still scoffing at the fact that I brought five pairs of shoes. They’re small. And flat. I did refrain from packing boots and heels, go me! Let’s give credit where credit is due. 🙂

Check it:

And then in the green bag are my truly essential items: passport, phone, computer, chargers, adapters, etc.

SO! Looks like I am alllll ready to go! My flight leaves at 7:00 p.m. tonight and I can’t friggen wait!! If you have any travel advice, words of wisdom, or anything else you would like to share, leave it in the comments!!

Like my page on Facebook to keep in the loop!



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